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Christina Judd

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Elder Holland Parenting Devotional, Seattle September 2019

Christina Judd October 13, 2019

Lo de español sigue abajo!

A few weekends ago I happened to be in Seattle when Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the quorum of the twelve apostles was scheduled to speak at a parenting devotional. Here are the notes I took:

Elder Holland began by stating that it’s no coincidence that the scriptures begin with families, and families who are in trouble (Old Testament: Adam and Eve. New Testament: Mary, Joseph and Jesus. Book of Mormon: Lehi and Sariah and their family.) He continued, “As soon as Adam and Eve step out of the garden they don’t even have time to get family scripture study, family prayer, and family home evening under way before there is fratricide, with one brother killing another. It’s all not a new deal to God! All our questions have been asked before and case studies have been done in the scriptures.”

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Elder Holland went on to say, “We are a temple-building church.” Joseph Smith was 38 years old when he died, and he devoted his life to temple building. Elder Holland asked, “Did he ever build a chapel?! He certainly never worshipped in one.” He provided the temple endowment and gave the keys to the 12 apostles. Joseph Smith said he could then die because the sealing power was restored to the earth — promptly followed his martyrdom. 

Elder Holland then emphasized that he does not know of any wards or stakes in heaven, “There is only the governance of family. We will bind families together, link up families. Families are our practice.”

Elder Holland was jesting through all of his talk, he let his sense of humor shine. He went on to tease, “We think we are going to jump out of the grave and say, ‘Make me a God! I need some planets!’” The audience roared with laughter so I missed his next joke but I think he said, “God’s saying, ‘go read your scriptures; we’ll talk later about planets.’”

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Becoming Godlike is a practice. We practice parenting by looking at how God deals with each of us, His children. And we will learn to parent like Him “so when we get there not a whole lot needs to change much.”

“Why is family our basic theology?”

After listing the myriad of things that go wrong in life and family he practically yelled over the pulpit, “WE KNOW THAT. But we are going to talk about family! We are obligated to fly the flag of eternity.” 

He added, “We’ll learn to close the gap. We set an ideal realizing not everyone can achieve it.” Elder Holland then specifically mentioned a single parent who wrote in before the conference saying, “I’m crushed under the weight of it all. I’m crushed under the weight of trying to teach the commandments to my children.” And then he said, “Ya, we’re all crushed under the weight of it all.” And then lovingly, teasingly added, “If you think your life is hard with a few kids think of God!” And then emphatically tried to drill into us, “We’ll get there eventually! Don’t get sick and feel bad about it. Don’t feel guilty about it.”

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He continued reiterating that this is a worthy goal to work toward and it’s worthy to talk about it, even though parenting is the hardest work we will ever do. He was quick and sure to add, “and the most important.” 

“When you need encouragement turn to Moses 6-7. Enoch asks God, “Why can God cry?!” And God answers, “How can I cry? Look at those children. They’re mine and they hate each other!”

“You’re not plowing ground no one else has put a blade to; He loaned them to us. We’ll have a wonderful association with Him forever because of it. Of all the things I can promise God’s help about it’s about raising your children. If we can’t have help with this there will not be help about anything. We have power and covenants and priesthood. We will learn a lot of lessons along the way but we are heirs and joint heirs with Christ — it’s our doctrine. Children grow up to be like their parents.”

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“How does Godhood happen? How do we become priests and priestesses, Gods and Goddesses? Not by a click of the fingers! Line upon line… You learn by practice.” And then began his loving jesting, “But some of you don’t enjoy the practice. You want long-suffering but you don’t want to suffer and you certainly don’t want it to take very long. You want patience but are saying, ‘Ya, sure I’ll learn patience — just give it to me right now…’”

He continued, “We will be given endless opportunities to learn to be divine, and every other virtue. I don’t think it can come any other way.” Motherhood and fatherhood are the highest and holiest callings. Of all the names He has, the one He wants most is that of Father. Elder Holland added that he knows we have a heavenly mother there, too, but doesn’t know anything about her. 

“You haven’t made any mistakes that can’t be corrected. Nor your parents, nor your children.” Laughing he added, “There is justice in this world — your kids are going to grow up to be parents! Let them take care of it.”

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Again speaking of parenting he said, “Trust in God’s help in this! I don’t think we talk enough about miracles, angels, help through the veil that happens only miraculously. Believe in angels, manifestations, divine help, miracles that turn people around.”

“Alma came back because of Alma Senior’s - and I’m sure his mother’s! - faithfulness! And then the rest of The Book of Mormon becomes the story of his descendents! The scriptures say that an angel astonishes him; plan on being astonished! The origin tonish (in astonished) means tondra which translated is thunder. Call heaven’s help when your back is up against the wall. Call thunder, call down a lightning strike! Angels from the other side of the veil will come and others on our block.”

Elder Holland, with all of the passion and vigor he uses when delivering these messages, tried with his might to help us understand the truths he taught: “We are called to be angels of mercy, to make miracles, to team up with those on the other side of the veil! God will help you raise your children!” He repeated this endless times during the devotional. He said, “It’s time to put our theology where our religion is; we have covenants to call down the power of heaven. Don’t try to do this alone. Make and keep your promises and the power of that will lead them to heaven — they’ll come back. Not in abjection to the law of agency but because of it. Your children and your children’s children, they’ll choose to because they saw you do it!!! They’ll be back!!! Like the prodigal son, they'll say, ‘I’m going home.’”

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He then gave an apostolic promise to everyone in the devotional, and every other person who would hear it: “Don’t be so miserably hard on yourself! Please, please, please. Trust me. Believe me. Generations will be blessed: your children and their children and their children... Be peaceful, be happy and accept this blessing. This is the most important work you will ever do and you will have help to do it.”

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Hace unos fines de semana estuve en Seattle cuando el élder Jeffrey R. Holland, del quórum de los doce apóstoles, tenía previsto hablar en un devocional de padres. Aquí están las notas que tomé:

El élder Holland comenzó afirmando que no es casualidad que las Escrituras comiencen con familias y familias que están en problemas (Antiguo Testamento: Adán y Eva. Nuevo Testamento: María, José y Jesús. Libro de Mormón: Lehi y Sariah y sus familias. ) Continuó: “Tan pronto como Adán y Eva salen del jardín, ni siquiera tienen tiempo para comenzar a estudiar las Escrituras, la oración familiar y la noche de hogar familiar antes de que haya fratricidio, con un hermano matando a otro. ¡No todo es un nuevo trato para Dios! Todas nuestras preguntas se han hecho antes y se han realizado estudios de casos en las Escrituras.”

El élder Holland continuó diciendo: "Somos una iglesia para la construcción de templos". José Smith tenía 38 años cuando murió y dedicó su vida a la construcción de templos. El élder Holland preguntó: “¿Alguna vez construyó una capilla? Él nunca adoró en uno ”. Él proporcionó la investidura del templo y dio las llaves a los 12 apóstoles. José Smith dijo que ya podría morir porque el poder de sellar las familias fue restaurado en la tierra. Enseguida siguió su martirio.

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El élder Holland enfatizó que no conoce ningún barrio o estaca en el cielo: “Solo existe el gobierno de la familia. Uniremos familias, uniremos familias. Las familias son nuestra práctica.”

El élder Holland estaba bromeando durante toda su charla, dejó que su sentido del humor brillara. Continuó bromeando: "Creemos que vamos a saltar de la tumba y decir: ‘¡Hazme un Dios! ¡Necesito algunos planetas!’” El público rió a carcajadas, así que me perdí su siguiente broma, pero creo que dijo: "Dios está diciendo:‘ ve a leer tus escrituras; hablaremos más tarde sobre los planetas.”

Convertirse en Dios es una práctica. Practicamos la paternidad observando cómo Dios trata con cada uno de nosotros, sus hijos. Y aprenderemos a padres como Él ", así que cuando lleguemos allí, no hay mucho que hay que cambiar.”

"¿Por qué la familia es nuestra teología básica?"

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Después de enumerar la miríada de cosas que salen mal en la vida y la familia, prácticamente gritó desde el púlpito: “SABEMOS ESO. ¡Pero vamos a hablar de familia! Estamos obligados a enarbolar la bandera de la eternidad ".

Añadió: "Aprenderemos a cerrar la brecha. Establecimos un ideal al darnos cuenta de que no todos pueden lograrlo ". El élder Holland mencionó específicamente a un padre soltero que escribió antes de la conferencia diciendo:" Estoy abrumado por el peso de todo. Estoy aplastado por el peso de tratar de enseñar los mandamientos a mis hijos ".  Entonces dijo el Elder Holland:” Sí, todos estamos aplastados por el peso de todo ". ¡tu vida es difícil con unos pocos niños que piensan en Dios! ”Y luego enfáticamente trataron de perforarnos,“ ¡llegaremos allí eventualmente! No te enfermes y te sientas mal por eso. No te sientas culpable por eso ".

Continuó reiterando que este es un objetivo digno de alcanzar y vale la pena hablar de ello, a pesar de que la crianza de los hijos es el trabajo más difícil que haremos. Fue rápido y seguro de agregar, "y lo más importante".

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“Cuando necesites aliento, recurre a Moisés 6-7. Enoc le pregunta a Dios: "¿Por qué Dios puede llorar?" Y Dios responde: "¿Cómo puedo llorar? Mira a esos niños. ¡Están preocupados y se odian el uno al otro! "

"No estás arando tierra a la que nadie más ha puesto una cuchilla; Dios nos los prestó. Por eso tendremos una asociación maravillosa con Él para siempre. De todas las cosas que les puedo prometer la ayuda de Dios , se trata de criar a sus hijos. Si no podemos tener ayuda con esto, no habrá ayuda sobre nada. Tenemos poder y convenios y sacerdocio. Aprenderemos muchas lecciones en el camino, pero somos coherederos con Cristo: es nuestra doctrina. Los niños crecen para ser como sus padres ".

“¿Cómo sucede la Divinidad? ¿Cómo nos convertimos en sacerdotes y sacerdotisas, dioses y diosas? ¡No con un clic de los dedos! Línea por línea ... Aprendes con la práctica ". Y luego comenzó su amorosa broma:" Pero algunos de ustedes no disfrutan de la práctica. Quieres long-suffering pero no quieres sufrir y no quieres que te lleve mucho tiempo. Quieres paciencia pero estás diciendo, "solo dámelo ahorita ..."

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Continuó: “Se nos darán infinitas oportunidades para aprender a ser divinos y cualquier otra virtud. No creo que pueda venir de otra manera.”

La maternidad y la paternidad son el llamado más elevado y más sagrado. De todos los nombres que tiene, el que más quiere es el de Padre. El élder Holland agregó que él sabe que también tenemos una madre celestial allí, pero no sabe nada de ella.

"No ha cometido ningún error que no pueda corregirse. Y tus padres no lo han hecho, tampoco tus hijos ". Riendo, agregó:" Hay justicia en este mundo: ¡tus hijos crecerán para ser padres!”

Nuevamente hablando de la paternidad, dijo: "¡Confía en la ayuda de Dios en esto! No creo que hablemos lo suficiente sobre milagros, ángeles, ayuda a través del velo que ocurre milagrosamente. Cree en los ángeles, las manifestaciones, la ayuda divina, los milagros que cambian a las personas ".

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"Alma regresó por la fe y oraciones de Alma Senior, ¡y  su madre!  Y el resto del Libro de Mormón se convierte en la historia de sus descendientes! Las escrituras dicen que un ángel lo asombra; planea quedar asombrado! El origen tonish (en asombro/atonished en ingles) significa tondra que traducido es trueno. Pide ayuda al cielo cuando tu espalda esté contra la pared. ¡Llama al trueno, llama a un rayo! Vendrán ángeles del otro lado del velo y otros en nuestra cuadra.

El élder Holland, por la pasión y el vigor que solo usa el élder Holland cuando entrega estos mensajes, intentó con su poder ayudarnos a comprender las verdades que enseñó: “Estamos llamados a ser ángeles de la misericordia, a hacer milagros, a unirnos a los que están en ¡Al otro lado del velo! Dios te ayudará a criar a tus hijos ”. Repitió esto infinitas veces durante su devocional. Él dijo: "Es hora de poner nuestra teología donde está nuestra religión; Tenemos convenios para invocar el poder del cielo. No intentes hacer esto solo. Haga y cumpla sus promesas y el poder de eso las llevará al cielo: regresarán. No en contra de la ley de agencia, sino por ella. Sus hijos y los hijos de sus hijos. ¡Elegirán porque te vieron hacerlo! ¡Volverán! Como el hijo pródigo, dirán: "Me voy a casa".

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Luego nos hizo una promesa apostólica, a todos en asistencia y a cualquier otra persona que lo escuchara: "¡No seas tan duro contigo mismo! Por favor por favor por favor. Créeme. Créeme. Las generaciones serán bendecidas: sus hijos y sus hijos y sus hijos… Sean pacíficos, felices y acepten esta bendición. Este es el trabajo más importante que harás y tendrás ayuda para hacerlo ”.

Tags parenting devotional, lds, church of jesus christ, elder holland, apostle, book of mormon, holy bible, adam and eve, family, eternal family, temple, temples, portra 800, indie film lab, film, family photography, lands end, bay area, san francisco, san francisco family photographer, family photographer
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her mission on this earth -- mimi's passing

Christina Judd July 27, 2019

I have experienced God orchestrating beautiful moments, moments where all the people are exactly where they need to be, when they need to be there. And when it all converges my thoughts swirl, “How did that even happen?! That was a miracle.”

My grandmother, Mema to the grandkids, Mimi to the great-grandkids, passed away on the 24th of July and her last breaths were one of these orchestral instances.

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My mom fed Mema breakfast and got her ready like every other morning. The girls and I had come home from a camping trip the night before, so that morning I sat at my computer - which I moved into her room - so I could catch up on emails and get a few things done. I heard her whisper, “Thank you.” I thought, “Did I hear that correctly?” I turned back and saw she was gazing up to the left above the window. I thought, “That’s interesting…” Just then I began to hear her struggling to breathe, her exhales loud and inhales strenuous. It was around 2:45. Her brow was furrowed, very unlike her cheery disposition. I grabbed my mom from the other room and said, “Something’s wrong.” My mom and I hurried back to Mema who was having a difficult time. Her coughing was abnormal and her breath heavy and difficult. My mom left the room to call Hospice (who had graduated her and couldn’t send immediate help) and I tried calling Mimi’s kids — Cindy first with no answer. Next, David, who said he was on his way. My dad also headed home (but we live in the hills and it takes time to get here…) My mom and I crouched around Mimi’s bed, holding her hands, kissing her face, saying as many I Love Yous and Thank Yous as one can muster at a time when no words do any feelings justice, the girls pouring over each side of her bed caressing her arms. My mom raced to make more phone calls while I sat next to her trying to be strong but crying and saying, “You’re doing great, Mimi! I love you! Go get Ma and Pa! Go home, Mema! You were the best grandma, Mimi! Thank you for perfect birthday parties and buying our favorite cakes and for taking care of all of us. You did everything for us! We love you, Mimi!” My mind was racing with, “Tell her happy things. Tell her all the good things” followed by “I can’t handle her in pain. I feel helpless. How am I sitting here doing nothing while she cannot breathe? Keep talking, tell her you love her…” (She had a DNR, her wish to pass at home.)

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The thought came to me to FaceTime her only sibling, her brother Bob, who lives in Utah; she and Bob have been best friends their entire lives.

Looking back this is where I see the miracle begin. Our house was silent and still. Bob’s kids had just walked in the door to his house when I called. Through tears they immediately began to tell Mema how much they loved her and how wonderful she was. Bob comforted and talked to his sister including their inside jokes, “You’re my favorite sister,” and “you were such a good sister.” This is how the next 15 minutes passed, until she graduated mortality and her spirit slipped through an ever so thin veil, reuniting herself with their mom and dad, her husband (our Bacca who passed 20 month ago), and family and friends from their past. Those 20-30 minutes could not have been more tender, sacred, or perfect. She took her last breath around 3:14 pm hand in hand with people she cared for and comforted her whole life — I still have the letters she wrote to me while in college and on my mission, easing my fears, calming frustrations, sending hope.

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The next few hours passed in a bustle of paramedics, fireman, the chaplain, and the mortuary in and out of the house. Mimi’s kids, grandkids and great-grandkids all arrived. We chatted, played, reminisced, snuggled babies and ate. Even one my best friends and her kids showed up within minutes of her passing. She and I were heading you Tahoe the next day so she took a Pitt-stop at our house. Our home was exactly as Mema showed us: friends become family and everyone’s welcome all of the time. All of the people and babies and laughter and tears was the ultimate gathering, a reverberating crescendo, in celebration of her brilliant life.

My mom and I both commented that if I had not moved my computer to her room (where I would work and chat at her while she rested or slept) that no one would have gone back into her room; she normally would have napped a long while requiring no assistance. She would have passed alone.

In a very short amount of time her passing converged in perfect harmony, specifically the piece of her brother and his family comforting her as she finished her mission on this earth.

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These moments of glorious orchestration don’t happen often, but when they do I am reminded that it was not anything I did — they are gifts, tender mercies from the Savior to His children, who He loves perfectly. His arms always are “outstretched still.”

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I had so many thoughts that afternoon, evening and into the next morning:

  1. Her room felt cold and empty when she was no longer in it. I realized that one of Mema’s spiritual gifts was The Gift of Comfort. She made you feel warm by her words and actions. She even warmed the room she sat in. Now that she is no longer here, the void, the cold, is palpable.

  2. Our life on this earth is nothing more than a blink in an eternal plan. The joy, the pain, it happens in a millisecond compared to our eternal destiny. When Mema was suffering every breath hurt my insides. Her scrunched body, her quivering lips, her loud breaths, I wanted it to stop! But there was a moment after she passed that only my mom and the girls were sitting in her still room and I felt, how did that happen so fast?! She was just here, and now she’s not, and it happened faster than I can comprehend. She has struggled with Alzheimer’s for years! She lived in my parent’s home for 8 months where they have fed her, bathed her, chatted with her, teased her, laughed with her — where every day feels like a marathon and you want her suffering to end, but then when it does you have a clarity you didn’t have previously:it happened so fast. When it’s over you remember: carrot cakes from Costco for my pool parties every July, her taking me to the store and buying me three new pairs of shoes, “it’s just money, don’t be scared of it” she’d say as my sister reminded me. She and I would eat frozen ho-hos and chat at her dining table almost every night when I lived with her. She’d whip up some New Mexican enchiladas, replete with a fried egg on top, for whoever came through her door. And now she’s gone home and those things were nothing more than a blink. When the struggle is over and the clarity comes, it was only an instant.

  3. Endurance. In April when my parents went to Europe for two weeks I took care of Mema. One night she almost died. She kept saying, a little frustrated, “I see this place but I can’t get there, I can’t get there!” The night before she passed my dad was feeding her dinner and she said to him, “I’m ready to go, can you help me?” My eyes have been opened to the word “endure.”

    If you endure, however ugly it might look or feel to you, however much you don’t like what’s happening, if you endure, you win. “Enduring well,” to me, means enduring period.

    “Enduring well” doesn’t mean I do all the things and am joyous and “love every second.” I got teary-eyed listening to this sincere clip from Elder Hales about deep depression and physical pain that didn’t let up.

  4. Our mission won’t look like, or compare to, anyone else’s. Mema didn’t live to post —nothing she did was for anyone else to see. I still have lessons to learn here but my thoughts brew and I feel change coming that I hope feeds more souls.

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I love my family and the grandmother who bore us. She was a woman who spent her entire life laughing and comforting. She was a leader, teacher, school counselor, wife, mom, grandma, great-grandma and when she was with you you felt you were the most important person in the world.

One day a few months ago all of her children and great-grandchildren arrived at the house. These images come from our impromptu shoot.

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We know you are partying and loving and teaching and caring even now, Mimi, but we still miss your laughter, warmth, counsel and comfort.

‘Til We Meet Again, Mema. We love and thank you for spending your life making each of ours lighter and brighter.

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In Family Photoshoot, Family Tags eternal family, eternal families, church of jesus christ, death, resurrection, family, cousins, mom, generations, endurance, alzheimer's
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